Moments that make it worth it
Being a parent of a newborn child his hard. No amount of warnings of how my life would change could have prepared me for it. I am thankful to have such a fantastic wife that is currently taking the brunt of the duties while she is out of work.
To give you folks without kids an idea of the change your life will go thru, let me describe a typical day. First of all, night and day are no longer concepts that you deal with. The child needs 24 hour care. You are up every hour either changing a diaper, feeding, cleaning a belly button wound, trying to get them to sleep, You sleep in those little spaces that they sleep. Those times will be determined by the baby - not you.
Think that you are going to relax and watch TV? Think again there hombres. You have a child to watch and care for. You ALWAYS have to keep your focus on this tiny little human. There are several reasons for this. Among them are -
- Safety of the child
- Signs of a diaper needing to be changed
- Has it been 2 hours since the last feeding?
- Are they sleeping? if so how long?
- what do I have to do to keep them happy and asleep?
- Is it time to wake her so that she will sleep tonight?
...and the list goes on and on and on.
It is a lot of work and a complete life change that I don't think that I expected would be as big as it is. If someone had been able to verbalize the amount of work and the extent to which my lifestyle would change before we had her, I would have run screaming to the hills. But that is because I had never had a child.
Now, this is important. You have not ever felt the joy that you get when you get those little 10 minute flashes of your calm happy infant. Watching them look at this brand new world, studying every inch of your face. Watching them try to hold their head up or realizing that they propped their feet up on your chest on purpose because they just discovered them and are watching the toes and trying to wiggle them. Watching your child use their hands with purpose for the first time. Noticing that she turned her head to the ground because she is interested in what the dog is doing. Those are the little moments you get and they are awesome. The only way that I know how to come close to describing the actual physiological response that your body has to these moments is this:
Every time little Ella and I have one of these moments I feel that elated feeling that I would get in high school when I found out that the girl I had a crush on also had a crush on me but much more intense. That feeling that makes your heart tap, your head spin and joy flow thru you in swells, making your whole body feel weightless. It is pure energy. It is a perma-grin.
Comments
And even though you feel you MUST be hyper-aware and constantly vigilant, just remember that babies are a lot less fragile than they appear - make sure to get some rest when you can and make sure to make little times for yourself and your wife (individually now, together later) to get away from the baby care for a bit and have just a little personal time. Your daughter will really and truly not miss you for those times, and will respond better when you come back refreshed and ready to look at her like she's the center of the universe and the only thing that matters :-)
Ahhhh...I know just how you feel! Tonight, when discussing how our son now loves carrots, my husband said to me "isn't it amazing to watch how he is growing and progressing?"
Yes, AMAZING!
Worrying about their safety never ends. Imagine the day she gets in the car with her friend who is driving. AHHHHHH!
My son is now 19 and off at university. I have to trust him to use good judgement and be able to say no when necessary. As well as get his arse out of bed and get to class. And wear a condom! Every time I see him now, I am amazed at his manliness and quiet confidence in it. He is so handsome to me, his jawline is so perfect, his nose so regal, his hair such a lovely colour, his body so lean and lanky. He is talented, intelligent and a bit lazy. even with his confidence in himself as a musician and a historian, he is shy with girls. To which endears him to me even more. And then he will say something like, "Mom, I have a crush on this girl, she's perfect, what should I do...", or "Mom, listen to this" and play me something on his guitar over the phone, and I smile and I am Mommy again and he is still my boy.
Remember always to praise her and tell her when she did a good job, and never tell her she is ugly or stupid or fat. Never push her too hard or give up on her. It is such a fine balance, this parent thing. I can not lay claim to having been perfect, but I can say I gave it my all and am proud of the human I gave life to and raised.
Sorry, I was feeling inspired by your love for your little one. : )