The Joy and Heartache
Last night the family went to Target and left me here to sit with my 1 month old, Ella Jane. I took the opportunity to throw some Otis Redding onto the record player and dance with my little girl. It relaxes her and I enjoy it.
I cannot describe the swells of joy that come from being able to hold my little girl and dance her to sleep. As I was caught up in the moment, I did not think that anything could compare to the intensity of the elation this moment was bringing me.
That is until I realized that one day, a day much sooner than I would like, I would not be able to have these moments with my little girl. That is when I knew I had been wrong about nothing being able to match the intensity of the happiness of dancing with her. The pain of knowing that, one day, I have to let her go.
Whether she decides that she is too old to dance with her old Dad or that I get to dance with her one last time before turning her over to the care of another man, I will have to let her go. The pain of that thought has, at the least, matched the intensity of the happiness of dancing with her.
I was then filled with the need to get as much out of this moment as I possibly could. So I held this little girl a bit tighter as we danced to "These Arms of Mine" and I began to cry like a baby knowing that this relationship is a journey that ends with me letting go.
Now, I am going to wipe these new tears away before the wife sees the red eyes and accuses me of being high again.
Comments
As deep and profound and overwhelmingly sweet as your joy and sorrow is- this journey has only just begun.
I know the feeling! And thanks for making me cry!
B
These days, I go out every weekend and dance for 3-4 hours each night, with all sorts of different guys.
My dad is still my favorite person to dance with.
I love the cuddles. I love it when they hit the age where they reach out their arms for best. When they willingly sit on your lap and let you hold them tight.
My favorite memory- ever- is of dancing with my dad at my wedding (just this January!) We are two peas in a pod who've always butted heads, and despite the fact that we never danced together as I was growing up, we have this unspoken bond between us. We danced to Rod Stewart's "Have I Told You Lately," and he sang to me the entire time. We were both a beautiful mess.
Thank you for sharing this moment with us. She'll never love another man the way she'll love you